literature

The Waking of Severus Snape *spoiler warning*

Deviation Actions

GoodOldBaz's avatar
By
Published:
790 Views

Literature Text

Severus Snape awoke with a start. He was aware immediately that he was entirely alone. There was no sound – no sound of wind whistling through the cracks in the walls, no gentle rustling of the shabby curtains, no creaking of the old shack’s weak foundation, all as there ought to have been, not even the sound of his own breathing. But then, he suddenly realized, was he even breathing? It came as quite a shock to him that he in fact was not breathing. As his sudden, panicked gasp of air filed his chest he felt rather as if he had not been breathing for a very long time. It was like his lungs were stiff and had trouble expanding at first. He stayed thus, breathing deeply of the cool, crisp air. Then suddenly, it all came back to him – Voldemort, the Elder wand, Nagili, and Harry, Harry Potter with his mother’s eyes…   and he knew he ought to be dead. Was he dead? As he pondered this though, he came to the slow realization that he was lying on something cool and hard. But if he could feel, then that must certainly mean he was alive. But if he was alive, then where was he? Certainly not in the Shrieking Shack. That was clear enough. He then became conscious of the fact that he didn’t seem to be wearing any clothes. This concerned him greatly, despite the fact that he was absolutely certain he was in total solitude. He wondered whether, if he could feel, that perhaps that meant he would be able to see as well. Slowly, he tried to open his eyes. At first all he saw was a very bright light. His eyes adjusted after a moment and he realized he was surrounded by a bright mist, but a mist very unlike anything he had ever seen before. It was not hiding the things surrounding him, but rather it seemed to be forming them. He sat up. His body appeared unscathed. He was in no pain. He touched the spot where Nagili had bitten him. There was no blood, not even any mark. Mark… that word made him think of something. He looked quickly at the underside of his left forearm. The Dark Mark – it was gone. Never in his life, or perhaps this was his death, could he have expressed the overwhelming relief which flooded over him. His Dark Mark was gone – he was free.
Then through the faintly clearing mist a sound came to his ears. The sound resembled footsteps. Snape felt his chest constrict with panic. He wished intensely that he had some means to cover himself before whoever it was who was walking towards him appeared though the mist. Barely had the thought formed in his head when robes appeared a short distance away from him. They were what seemed to be white cotton. For the first time in he couldn’t remember how long, the idea of wearing white seemed pleasant to him. He stood up slowly and moved towards the robes, which were styled exactly as his robes as always been before, and pull them on. They were perhaps the most comfortable thing he had ever experienced, worm and clean and soft. He wrapped his arms around himself and looked about, trying to identify the specific spot from which the sound of footsteps was coming. Then, out of the mist, a form wearing sweeping robes of midnight blue came walking towards him.
“Dumbledore!” Snape exclaimed in some alarm.
“Severus,” replied Dumbledore with a smile. The old wizard moved quickly towards Snape, reaching out his long hands and taking the other in a brief embrace.
“But you are dead,” Snape said, feeling very strange in the arms of the older man.
“Oh yes,” replied Dumbledore, relinquishing his grasp on Snape. “You of all people know that.”
“So… I am dead as well?”
“Indeed Severus; you are dead.”
Snape nodded slowly. “Then… where am I?”
Dumbledore gave a little shrug. “The afterlife, I suppose you could call it.”
“Afterlife…” The word felt foreign on his lips. “Are we – the only one’s here?”
“Certainly not,” said Dumbledore with a grin. “Wait just a moment. There are some people who would like to see you.” Dumbledore reached into his robes and pulled out his wand. A great, white bird which resembled a phoenix erupted from the tip of it and flew off into the faintly clearing mist. “If you will, Severus,” said Dumbledore turning back towards Snape, “Send yours out after it.”
“But I do not have my wand.”
“Reach into your robes.”
After a moment’s hesitation, Snape did this, and found his wand in the same pocket he’d always kept it in when he was alive. He gave it a flick and a white doe bounded after the phoenix.
“Very good. Now Severus, let us talk of what has happened while we wait for our friends.”
Dumbledore took Snape by the arm and lead him into the mist. As they walked and talked the mist cleared just before them, forming a long, cobblestone path on either side of which was a great, green field in which nothing seemed to be moving.
Snape wasn’t exactly sure how much time had passed before four patronuses came along the path beside them – a phoenix, a stag, and two does.
“Ah good,” smiled Dumbledore as the patronuses diminished into little orbs of light, then disappeared altogether. “They should be here shortly.”
“Who?” asked Snape.
“My dear Severus, did you not see the forms those other two patronuses took?”
“I, well…” he cast his mind back a moment. There had been Dumbledore’s phoenix, his own doe, and… another doe, and a stag. His heart skipped a beat.
“Albus –” he said in a hoarse, quivering voice.
“Yes, it is who you think.”
“But, I can’t, I won’t!” Snape’s voice was suddenly angry. “I won’t see James Potter!”
“My friend –” Dumbledore began, but Snape cut him off.
“How could you!?” he spat. His eyes were wide and bulging. “I will not see James Potter!” He turned round swiftly and walked down the path, his fists clenched. His mind was racing wildly. Lilly, oh how much he wanted to see Lilly, but he would not see James Potter, the man who he’d hated possibly more than anyone else in the entire world. Bitter, angry thoughts rushed through Snape’s mind like some wild disease, overtaking him and ripping at his insides. He looked down at his feet, and to his great surprise, he saw that his robes had turned black. He stopped dead in his tracks. No. He didn’t want this. He did not want to be alone and angry any longer. He did not want to be bitter and sad. There didn’t really seem to be much of a point to all that any longer, not now that he was, well, dead. He looked up into the pale blue sky and took in a long, deep breath. He remembered what he’d said to Harry during their occlumency lessons. “Clear your mind!” He’d said it over and over and over again. Yes. That was right. All the anger and bitterness seemed to drain out of him. He thought now that perhaps, only perhaps, he might be able to look at James Potter. He still had to admit he still did not want to speak to him. Snape closed his eyes and let out a long breath. He looked down at himself and a slow smile crept across his face. He had done it. His robes were white again. With a sharp nod of his head and a straightening of his back, he turned around with a jerk and began to walk back to Dumbledore. The mist was almost completely gone now, and he could see two white clad figures standing by Dumbledore. As he got closer he realized neither was actually wearing white. The man was wearing ropes of faint blue, and the woman of faint pink. Snape didn’t allow himself to focus upon them yet. He wasn’t sure he was ready. He stopped before Dumbledore, looking only into the eyes of the old wizard.
“Severus,” he said, a smile washing over his lined face.
“Albus,” replied Snape.
“Still don’t wash your hair I see,” came a joking voice from one of the forms behind Dumbledore.
Snape felt his heart beat faster.
“Stop it, James!” came a voice from the other. “Here of all places you ought to finally be able to be nice to him.”
Snape’s heart beat faster still.
Dumbledore stepped to the side and Snape had full view of the two people standing behind him. The man was not particularly tall and had messy brown hair. The pace where round glasses had always sat upon his nose in life was clear. The woman, in her beautiful satin robes of pale pink, had hair of flowing reddish brown and eyes that sparkled with the smile that was on her lips.
Snape steadied his breath.
James took a step forward and held out his hand, a smile on his face.
“Hey there Sniva –”
His wife elbowed him in the stomach.
“Er, I mean, Severus.”
For a moment Snape did not think he could do it. He looked at Lily. His heart beat so quickly he felt it might burst right out of his very chest. Then suddenly, it calmed. He felt, somehow, while his love for Lilly was not dampened in any way, that if she was really and truly happy, which she was, that that was all that mattered any more. He reached out his hand and grasped James’.
“Hello, Mr. Potter.”
Lilly’s smile widened and her breath became easier. Snape turned to her.
“Lilly…” he said with a slow nod.
She reached out and took his hand. “Severus, thank you so much for what you did for Harry! If it weren’t for you, well, he might not still be alive.”
Snape smiled faintly.
“He had your eyes.”
“Yes, I know.”
“But he acted like James.”
Lilly laughed. “So I’ve heard from Dumbledore.”
Snape hesitated a moment. “You… would have been proud of him – of all the things he’s done.”
“We are,” said James, who seemed ever so faintly annoyed by the way Snape was still holding on to Lilly’s hand. Snape noticed and let go. A smile flickered across his sallow face. But somehow, it seemed less sallow now than it had before.
“Well,” said Dumbledore after a moment’s silence. “We’ll have plenty of time for conversation, forever, in fact, but I don’t know about any of you but I’m hungry.”
Snape looked taken aback. “We can – eat?”
“Yes of course, Severus,” Dumbledore smiled. “Come! They have Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, but only the pleasant flavored ones!”
Dumbledore took Snape by one arm and Lilly by the other, and they all walked together down the path.  It was if part of his soul he’d thought was lost long ago had awoken, and he felt happier than he ever had in life.
So I know this is kinda strange but it's helped me make peace with the end of The Deathly Hallows so yeah I'm actually pretty happy with it.
© 2014 - 2024 GoodOldBaz
Comments19
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
janach's avatar
Severus should have kept walking and kept his black robes. If Lily was truly his friend, she would have met him without Albus and James, the two people who probably abused him more than anyone else in life.